Relife

Hello, deceased customer! I’m putting this where I know you will find it. This is a simple set of instructions to guide you in case you forget how things work here in Heaven.

If you can read this, you are dead, and currently trying out our Relife program. Forgotten what that is? It’s okay. Reliving the past can make you forget while you are immersed in it.

Relife is a gift from the Lord to you. Each year, on the anniversary of your death, you may choose a single day from your life to relive. Some relive the same day, others choose theirs in a set, but whatever you choose or have chosen will end when you fall asleep. Yes, that means any all-nighters and such will count as a single day. As soon as you fall asleep, you will be back in Heaven, and able to start planning your next day to relive. (Some crafty people relive their entire lives, a day at a time over hundreds of years. But hey, when you’ve got all of eternity…)

While Relife is an amazing gift, please remember that all you are capable of doing is observing. This note will be readable in many places—books, televisions, etc.—as a reminder to you so that you do not become too immersed in the past.

Happy living, and be blessed always.